The more I write Kpau, the more she blends aspects of Hidamari Sketch's Miyako, K-On's Mugi. As I said earlier she's a bit like my wife mixed up with a cute bombastic professor I took Russian from in college. I'm consciously doing a lot of archetype subversion as well.įor example, Tsika is obviously a riff on the loli-tsundere archetype but it drips out in complicated ways. If I see a real life image that matches my conception, I'll store it in my local file photos. I think 'real life' visualization helps more because though I play around a lot with anime motifs and cliches, I'm injecting them into a western setting with western sensibilities. When I think in terms of anime, I tend to imagine a fairly realistic style (e.g. Most of the time, I tend to think of them as mildly stylized 'real life' characters. Do you imagine them in an anime style or a realistic one? I'm curious to know how you imagine your characters as you're writing. That's why I'm just deeming this forum release as a "rough draft" I'm punting out for the amusement of the forum. Problem is she's trying to lend a hand between several projects and a new baby so the chapter reviews come sparsely and I'm trying to push out two or more chapters a week. That's one reason I asked a buddy pro editor to review my stuff. So that input is very appreciatedĪnd yeah, I find spelling errors every time I read a chapter also horrible grammar spoofs (double word word ). I tend to view them as grammatical sticky tape rather than as actual pauses in speech. However, *I* have a tendency not to pause over commas when I read dialog. Glycerin, in particular, I'm trying to portray her stammering with long pauses while she composes her next word. Will try to swap them out today or tomorrow. For example, I fixed all the rampant 4 or 5 dot ellipses, corrected continuity errors, etc. Agreed on the over-use of ellipses.Įdit: I was looking over the early chapters and realized they're much earlier drafts than what I have now. Part of this, for me, is the exercise of writing fiction. There's a vast void of mostly silence from the peanut gallery. No, I'm dying to hear comments like that. Well, like I said, it's still written pretty well. Sorry! I'm not trying to nit-pick your work or anything, but if I were you, I'd want to know. There are also a few typos (such as "O" for "Oh" and "there" for "here"). You probably wrote it like that to show the reader a pause where you put the ellipses, but a comma or a period would serve to provide that pause. There are a lot of unnecessary ellipses though. interesting when people spend so much time together. Heck, even engineering "death march" projects I've been on have gotten pretty. However, these characters are musicians/creatives after all, they're adults (even if they're kind of broken), so I don't want to be unrealistically chaste. It has to advance the plot, reveal something important about the characters - and there can't be any other way to express that. I concur with that - I don't like 'extraneous sex scenes". They're trusting me not to get "nasty" and keep it out of the smut zone. On a side note, I was concerned about some explicit moments in my storyboard so I had some conversations with the mods on the matter. I'll look at FictionPress and I hadn't thought about DeviantArt at all but will add it to the 'to do' list. I've looked at Smashwords and Lulu so far. tweaking Glycerin's speech patterns), re-aligning chapters for length (merging some of them, etc), and so on). I'm going through the first volume and reworking it (expanding the sketchy bits (many chapters are simply more like sketches than fully fleshed out, reworking dialog (e.g. What I'm releasing here is a rough draft of sorts. Have you considered putting these on sites like FictionPress or DeviantArt?
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